It Starts With Open

Revised November 28, 2019

You have no idea how what you’re doing today, by overcoming yourself and choosing a greater version of you, who you will help in some future time. Because you will be the truth, people need to see the living example of truth. Dr. Joe Dispenza

What do you think of when you read the word Carefree? Skipping lightly over the earth, picking a fluffy dandelion, and blowing the seeds into the wind? Maybe it’s a state of mind you’ve never really had, or last recall when you were a child, open to exploring, just for the fun of it.

For me, Carefree is a place, a workshop, and the state of being I experienced as a result of attending the said workshop in said place. 

I literally walked in as one person and walked out as another.

What caused such a profound and permanent transformation? How did a stressed, depressed person who had given up on most of her dreams morph into someone who felt so free she was giddy with delight over simply being alive? 

How did deep fears from childhood magically vanish, never to return? What doors flew open, plunging her into a vast universe filled with mystical encounters, resulting in superpowers beyond her wildest imaginings? 

Apparently, it’s called a spiritual awakening.

It took a couple of years before I discovered there were names for what had happened to me. Learning there was a label for it was interesting because I honestly didn’t give much thought to explanations when it happened, nor did I believe I was unique in any way. Rather than researching the heck out of it, I leaned in further. I wasn’t analyzing it; I was too busy living it.

While living it, I started to share my stories with people, which encouraged them to tell me theirs. I started gathering incredible tales of everyday courage and transformation, commingled with unrealized dreams, poor health, and a ton of pent up desire to be more and do more. People also loved hearing about my mystical experiences because they’d had them too and didn’t know how to put them into words. They were relieved to discover they weren’t crazy and excited to connect with their intuition so they could start trusting their guidance.

To help people more easily make that connection with their inner self, I used the following questions as a guide for what made it out of my journals and into this book:

  1. What would the Adwynna of four or five or even ten or twenty years ago want to know? 
  2. What would have helped me the most at various stages of my life? 
  3. What small thing, if I’d heard it and taken it in, could have saved me a few years, heck decades, of confusion, frustration, and misery? 
  4. How can the experiences I’ve had, the changes I’ve ingrained in my brain and body, the lifetime of learning and living that add up to the me of today, help the you of today? 

This book packs in how I did what I did, what I’ve learned, and stories from the fabulous people I’ve met along the way. Stories are one of my favorite parts of being human, and collecting them to share with others truly is my life’s purpose. It is my heartfelt desire that authentically told stories will inspire each of us to create healing, magic, joy, laughter, and fun in our daily lives.

Each Chapter was crafted around a story or experience, followed by a section called Who Am I Now? This section allows readers to understand how the experiences in the Chapter changed me and could potentially change them. All journal excerpts are unedited, dated, and offset in italics, so they are easily identified.

A book, a journal entry, or a blog post captures a moment in time with the understanding one has gained at the time of writing. By the time you read this book, each Who Am I Now? section has, in all probability, evolved and in some cases, been replaced by more levels of Who I Am Now. In the Chapter called Truth Evolves, I dive further into the concept of how our perspectives will change if we remain curious and open to boundless possibilities. 

I ask that you accept my truth from the level of awareness I had when each section was written and allow for our truth to evolve perpetually. 


Whew, that was easy! Thrilled you’re still here. 

The Dr. Joe Dispenza (Dr. Joe) community uses location names when we talk about workshops we’ve attended. In the spring of 2015, I went to my first Advanced Workshop in Carefree, Arizona. The theme was Becoming Supernatural, which also became the title of Dr. Joe’s 2017 best-selling book. I refer to that book, and the work of other authors, so you have access to scientific explanations of what happened to me. Those additional resources are included at the end of each section, as well as in the bibliography.

By the time I got to Carefree, I was ready for change. I was done with the whole “normal” charade. I can’t say I knew who the new me was going to be, but I certainly didn’t like the me who landed in Phoenix on April 28, 2015.

I was ready for the unknown. I had no idea just how ready the unknown was for me.

The week I spent in Carefree was an unexpected adventure into a whole new world. I’d written on the flight to Phoenix that I felt like I had a stone in my heart, yet I was all in from the minute I landed. It was as if I could sense the changes that were coming. My future self was calling me, already confident in who she was, waiting for me to catch up and become who I’d always wanted to be.  

I wrote prolifically in the months after Carefree. I had an unlimited supply of energy, and journals were always within reach. Many nights I’d wake refreshed after a short time in deep slumber, climb out of bed to meditate, write or walk outside in nature. My children had landscaping jobs that summer and got used to finding me in the wee hours of the morning meditating or writing at the dining room table.

Home again after the workshop, I quickly learned that not everyone wants to jump up and down with joy simply because I was suddenly in a perpetual state of awe and bliss. I honestly, and somewhat naively believed everyone would want what I had. I was driven to share how everyone could change their life, be healthy, free themselves, and feel really, really good. There were the occasional references made to an over-indulgence of Cactus Kool-Aid! 

Eventually, those around me (and that includes me) began to trust the consistency of my results, my happiness levels, and the changes in me as they integrated. Once my friends and family saw I’d come down from the mountain and I was still happy, still meditating and having many, many cool things happen in my life, they relaxed and became more curious about how I’d done it.

So many of us are stuck or hurting or wondering if our mundane life is all there is. That was me in early 2014. We’ve been conditioned to believe the fantasy we see all around us in commercials, social media, news, and movies. Tales are told to us from birth and presented as reality. We’re encouraged to compete because there aren’t enough resources. Our culture rewards the people who struggle the most and work the hardest. Science teaches us it’s natural to decline as we age, that achy joints and mysterious pains are normal. We blame our genes, or our hormones, for poor health or inadequate sleep. 

We end up believing that life is a lottery where some people get the good stuff, and others don’t.

Something about that fantasy brought out my inner rebel. What made me question everything? What made me refuse to buy into the status quo? When it felt like life punched me in the gut and then kicked me when I was down, why was I still open to seeing things differently? I assure you; I don’t look at all like a rebel. I’m slim, white, blonde, and the mother of a boy and a girl. I have a degree, walk my dog, play tennis, and live in a house in suburbia. I’ve also questioned commonly accepted things since childhood and have always been very open to any, and all, answers.

You’ve found your way here, so I’m willing to bet you’re a bit of a rebel too.

How do you know you’re in the right place? 

  1. You refer to yourself as weird, woo-woo, or abnormal. 
  2. Maybe you’ve been hiding your true self – perhaps under a bushel, in a jar, or deep inside a bowl of popcorn while binging on Netflix?
  3. You secretly believe you have superpowers and are still figuring out where to find them.
  4. There is no magic in your life, and you’re asking, “Is this all there is?”

Hiding who we really are is the cause of so much heartache on this planet. We crave intimacy and connection, yet we often believe we are inherently unworthy and unlovable. Wouldn’t it be a relief to know you have a safe place to land, where you are cherished for your uniqueness and loved because you are love itself? 

You will discover I have been to many, many mystical places while living a seemingly ordinary, and by some definitions, incredibly tragic life. I felt judged as unusual, so I’d hidden my mystical side from most people. My goal is only to share my personal experiences, allowing people to take away whatever helps them to have what they most want in their life.

Coming out of hiding involved letting go of a belief that I needed people outside of me to validate my experiences. I had to confront my fear of rejection and trust my heart to guide me. As soon as I decided to step forward and own my experiences, the proof ended up being right in front of me! I have reports from brain scans conducted during meditations at two separate Dr. Joe workshops, which include recordings of me describing my mystical experiences to the lead scientist. I also have an official video testimonial from the day of my initial breakthrough, a bunch of emails to the Dr. Joe organization, and of course, my journals and communications. 

I use the term mystical to describe things that happen outside of routine, predictable life. I could give you a list of possible mystical experiences, but I refuse to use labels to describe something that most of us struggle to put into words. 

Why won’t I use commonly accepted labels or refer to ancient metaphysical texts?

Because it was my not knowing that allowed the mystical experiences to happen in the first place. It was my naivety, this childlike wonder with a sense of playfulness that kept opening me to more.

It’s not that I don’t love to learn. I’m a voracious reader and a sponge for knowledge. For over 20 years, I’ve studied the art and science of change. I hold certifications in a variety of healing modalities, work one-on-one in client sessions, write, speak, and teach workshops.  

With all that knowledge, I remain curious about two things: 

  1. How do people change? 
  2. How does that change become permanent? 

These questions motivate me to examine things from varying perspectives and reach new conclusions continually, yet this book won’t give you:

  • 8 Guaranteed Steps to Enlightenment
  • 10 Rules for Unleashing Your Superpowers
  • 7 Brand New Laws of the Universe from a Spirit Guide who only talks to me

There are no steps, and there are no rules. I am not a person who would label something a law of any kind, let alone presume to label one for the universe! Yes, there is a logical way of progressing from a state of close-minded fear to open-hearted joy. I have no idea of the number of steps it might take for anyone, but I do know one thing for certain:

It starts with being open. 

Being open is a choice. In truth, our life is only about the choices we make. It helps us be more comfortable about making those choices when we know someone else has gone there first. 

There are a bunch of things I’d completely forgotten about until I started going through my journals, and I don’t have space to include it all here. There were magical journeys to other dimensions and places on earth I’d never heard of, only to have my daughter search the internet and find they do exist. I delve into my struggles to live as a human being with all I am now seeing, experiencing, and knowing.

After my awakening, I opened to more and more guidance and changed my approach to helping others. I love the art of crafting great questions and ask a lot of them! When I meditate or write or go through my days, I receive answers. As I evolve, the work I do with people evolves, resulting in powerful shifts and rapid transformation. I strive to facilitate simple processes that allow people to access their power, accept responsibility for their choices, and create a compelling version of their future self. 

Over time, I saw that being open to guidance without a lot of analysis brought me more and more mystical experiences. First in meditations and client sessions, then in daily life. I learned how to access more knowing, to let myself go deeper and deeper, often letting go of the very thing I had just learned to know more. It took time, but I finally got to the point where I trust my guidance, my gut, my SELF, who is so much more than me.

I think of the Carefree series as guidebooks to an expanded life.

An enticement to explore those possibilities that exist just beyond the edges of your current reality. Like all good guidebooks, there are places you will read about that you will choose not to go, places you will visit and never want to return to again, and places you will go that you love so much you will want to bring everyone with you the next time. 

When you’ve made a career out of hiding your true self, there is nothing like the process of writing a work of transformational non-fiction! The level of profound personal growth has been way more challenging than I imagined. Some of the mystical things I write about will stretch your beliefs. They certainly stretched mine. And yet, people want to know about the mystical stuff.

They want me to share because it gives them permission to share. 

When I started to be who I am openly, so many beautiful souls opened their hearts to me. The result is a variety of fun, creative, connected relationships with people from all over the world. I am grateful for their acceptance, encouragement, and love. There truly is safety in numbers, and it’s my belief there are WAY more of us…open minded, longing for deeper connection, ready to create fuller lives…then we are led to believe.

It’s time for more of us to step out of hiding, embrace the spotlight of truth, and allow our hearts to shine. It starts with me telling my authentic story so that you can tell yours.

It starts with open…

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